16 Aug DIRTY TALK FOR CONSENT
The message is coming through loud and clear: consent is sexy! The days of “no means yes” are quickly becoming a thing of the past (though not nearly quickly enough) as the current generations of lovers learn how to ask and express sexual consent. It’s essential to make sure that your lover is just as interested as you are and sober enough to make that call for themselves. But how do you check in without going somber and killing the mood?
Start with flirty and, if all goes well, progress to dirty talk that you’re both comfortable with and enjoy. As things begin to heat up, try a few tasteful yet flirty whispers about your interest in a sensual evening. If your sweetie reciprocates with body language but not words, invite them to tease you back with their own desires and ideas.
While their answers are never a binding commitment, they are a good way to learn what they may be interested in moving toward tonight, if anything. For the shyer lovers, a series of saucy texts between future partners can weave fantasies as well as consent. Start with a simple “I’ve been thinking about you,” and go from there.
One of the sexiest words in the English language is a lustily given “yes.” Whether it’s whispered, moaned, giggled, or growled, this simple word has the power to prove that consent can and should be heart-poundingly hot! Check in with your date at each step as you progress through your evening. As you reach for new territory or begin to move toward new acts, use that sultry voice of yours to ask what they want. If no answer is ready, tease by requiring a yes before you continue. Better yet, ask them what it is they want to do and let them lead the way.
A gentleman ensures that his lovers know they are special and respected, whether it was a one night fling or the start of a life-long love affair. If you have their number, pick up the phone and send a simple text to show your appreciation and respect promptly after your interlude. If the night was based on lust and is unlikely to go deeper, share a sultry detail you adored about them without implying that you are only focused on your own pleasure.
If the relationship might be something more, pick an endearing yet sensual moment to text, and follow it up promptly with a request to hear them say “yes” more soon.